10th Photohunt Theme 132: “Family”

dmeemai on October 18th, 2008 File Under Meme, Personal, family affairs, photohunt

Family [fam-uh-lee, fam-lee]: noun the smallest unit in a society. no longer defined by blood in recent times, but metaphorically blood related by mere sense of belongingness and acceptance; sharing common goals, attitudes, and interests, living together or not. By that definition, I am a member of many families but for this theme, I’m sharing my own family, not by choice but related and bounded by genetics. :-)

Yay, back in the days when…

my eldest sis will most likely not talk to me for posting this!! I mean c’mon, high waist jeans in tight belt?!! I’m not too happy in this pic either (far right)- being forced to pose and wear a stupid chiffon dress in fuchsia color at that!

Family

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He

dmeemai on June 15th, 2008 File Under Personal, family affairs, music

Also wrote: She

I’m an easy prey to ‘abuse.’ I’m not talking about physical or anything like that, but being taken advantaged of because I’m too trusting and tend to believe on the innate goodness of every person I meet. BUT I’m not going to talk about that oddity or is that idiocy?! I’m going to talk about a man whom I completely and fully trust with my life. One man who is innately good in every way and there is only one man ever!

I’ve known him for 34 years. He’s your perfect guy (almost!). He is handsome, God-fearing, sensitive, intelligent, caring, patient, thoughtful, funny, stubborn, adamant even! He knows when to talk and when to listen. He’d hear your stories no matter how boring or how many times you’ve told him. He offers to drive you anywhere, even just around the corner to satisfy a balot (unhatched duck egg; yes I eat that!) craving. He’d patiently wait for you while you shop in the girls/women’s section til the store closes! He’s at your every school activity, even volunteering to join a committee just to please you. He knows all your cuts and bruises and mends them while scolding you for getting them in the first place! He picks up your friends regardless of distance from each house and takes each one of them back home too! He introduced you to hobbies like stamp collecting and writing or catching butterflies and preserving them. He bought you your first bicycle. He taught you how to ride them. He bought you your first atari when it first came out (never mind if you had to cry and wail for it!). Bought you your first Tretorn in the then famous imported shoe-haven Cartimar in Manila (this was the 80’s!) (…and with the same crying effect!).

…He is handsome, God-fearing, sensitive, intelligent, caring, patient, thoughtful, funny, rude and stubborn, adamant even! He knows when to talk and when to listen…

He takes you to the beach. He takes you travelling to great places! He taught you how to drive and how to drive carefully! He appreciates and encourages your passions. Your triumphs are his and your woes and worries are his to carry as well. You can always count on him for anything and I mean anything. He supports you through and through whichever side of the fence you are. Above all, zero vices! He doesn’t smoke, drink or gamble.

His only flaw is that in most cases he is a passivist. In a fight or flight response, he’d more likely to hide than fight. There were trials when we needed for him to stand up and he was helpless. Mom, strong and composed as ever, pulled us out through the storms. He didn’t want changes. He didn’t want to leave his comfort zone. He is vulnerable and powerless when confronted with tribulations. Then again for all that he is, what he has given to me, my mom and my sisters, how he influenced and shaped our lives to be better- somehow more than makes up for that soft character. He has proven his love for all of of us and is proving it time after time. We couldn’t ask for a better man!

I sure do love this guy! I’m not his favorite (I think?! ha!) but he’s got so much love to give to all of us that it doesn’t even mean that he loves me less and it doesn’t really matter! We all have our favorites, you’d have to respect that. Through all my angry years with my mom, he’s been there. I have been a difficult child to raise, I admit that. ;-) He (along with my mom and sisters) has put up with my idiosyncrasies and eccentricities all these years! I’m proud of him and am proud to be his daughter. He’ll always have that spot in my heart that no one can ever fill. I love him oh so dearly and I make sure he knows it! And if he happens to come across this post, here’s to you dad: “You have my love, trust and respect for always! Happy Father’s Day! I couldn’t have asked for a better father…” © 2008

Note: This first appeared on my First blog in June 2005. I reaffirm it to this day and everyday of my life.

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To All Mothers…

dmeemai on May 11th, 2008 File Under Personal, lyrical attempts

your courage is admirable
your understanding unconditional
your warmth is comforting
your embrace, reassuring.

your generosity is remarkable
your smell is unforgettable
your determination superb
your caring ways unrivaled.

your laugh is memorable
your cooking always exquisite
your patience notable
your stubborn ways matchless.

your love, priceless.

how can we live without you?
what’s a life without you?
must be truly unbearable.
can’t imagine. don’t wanna live without.

Happy mother’s Day with love and respect.

Related post: SHE

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Travel Philippines!

dmeemai on January 15th, 2008 File Under Filipino-ness, Personal

philippinesmap.gifIn a few, I will be visiting my homeland Philippines! I haven’t been back in four years and the anticipation is killing me!! I will be all over the place, but will be based mostly in my hometown- General Santos City ( the Tuna Capital of the Philippines) and Metro Manila (the country’s Capital)…

The horror, fun, stressful part begins at the Ninoy Aquino International Airport where it’s rated and reviewed among the most inconvenient if not worst airports in the world! You bet I’ll be giving my own view on the subject once I get settled there!

After this trip, I don’t know when I’ll be back again… Life happens to me here abroad too. How I wish I can travel often to the Philippines but there are tons of other places I want to see in my lifetime. It will just have to wait again.

For now I made a list of everything I want to try and do in the Philippines. These are things I loved then and know I still do!!

Things to do in Manila:

  • EAT SINIGANG! need I say more?!
  • Ride a jeepney (public transportation smaller than a bus)
  • Commute in the Manila LRT (I lived in Manila for 7 years but never had the chance to ride the local train)
  • Binge on the fishball and squidball from a sidewalk vendor
  • Ditto for Mangga at Bagoong (Mango & Shrimp paste)
  • and lest we forget- the “fear-factor”, gad-awful-disgusting looking yet uniquely tasty street food isaw (Barbecued pig’s intestines) and balot (unhatched duck egg)!
  • Go to SM Megamall (I know, I know. Even my sis and nieces prefer Eastwood, Rockwell, and the new Ayala now… but I loved that mall!)
  • Eat at all you can eat restos
  • Dine in at Jollibee!! Chicken joy & rice with tons of gravy! Yay!
  • Go to the beaches in Batangas and wherever else in Luzon!
  • Try wakeboarding!! (calling Ivy! LoL)
  • Babysit my nieces! I just adore and love them!
  • Ahh, Sago at Gulaman (Agar agar and tapioca pearls)- a cold refreshment on a hot day, bring it on!!
  • Malling, malling, malling
  • Beach, beach, beach (Baguio is out! Been there almost all summers of my life while still living in the Philippines!)
  • Maybe go to Laguna (hot springs), Subic and or Pampanga?!

Things to do in General Santos (Gensan)

  • Have a lechon (roasted pig) party every week I’m there! Ok, maybe every other week! Haha
  • Eat Durian til my tummy aches…
  • Find “camachile“!! love this, love this, love this!
  • Ride the tricycle! I miss this economical, ingenious, totally dangerous mini public transportation which can only be seen in subdivisions and small cities or towns in the Philippines.
  • Go to the Gensan Fishport and buy fresh tuna for sashimi and sushi!
  • Eat “panga” (grilled tuna jaw) to my heart’s content!
  • Have a home-cooked, other “fear-factor” type of food “dinuguan” (pork’s blood), Kilawin (meat tripes and innards), Kare-Kare (beef stew like food in peanut sauce featuring beef tripes!) with bagoong (shrimp paste), Gulami (a spicy concoction of beef, noodles and veges in peanut sauce based soup!), Nilagpang (a chicken soup with a twist from western visayas), Batchoy (a distinct Filipino noodle soup) and Pancit Bijon (Noodle stir fry) - all of which are our cook’s specialty at TatayPepe’s. What can i tell you except that we have the best cooks in General Santos City!)
  • Visit DAVAO city! the best city in the Philippines in my books!! I was born in Davao and lived there for 6 years!
  • Eat some more sinigang!
  • Have daing, tuyo, dilis and dried pusit (assorted dried fish and dried squid) and itlog na maalat (salted eggs) for breakfast
  • Learn to play badminton!
  • Drive!
  • Eat guava, papaya, mango, pineapples, jackfruit, rambutan, lanzones, pomelo, mangosteen and saging na tundan! (assorted fresh tropical fruits)
  • Binge on inihaw na saging (grilled bananas) and turon + banana cue (fried bananas) and kamote cue (fried sweet potato)
  • Go to the beach every other day or perhaps I can rent out a cheap cottage and live by the beach for a week or two!
  • SPEAK the visayan dialect! (I’m proud to say that I am fluent in Visayan as I am in Tagalog!) :-)
  • Go to the wet market and just enjoy the craziness and the stinky smell (no such thing as that where I am)!

If you read through the list, you’d know how much I miss eating Filipino Food! While I can have some of the dishes mentioned here in the US- it is not the same… Anybody got some suggestions on places to see and other food to try while I’m visiting the Philippines?! :-)

Well Philippines, ready or not- here I come! © 2007

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7 Things You Don’t Know About Me

dmeemai on November 30th, 2007 File Under Meme, about me

I’m not much of a gut spiller online, I’d rather prefer what privacy I have left intact. I do share some here and there in my posts, and every once in a while I hide behind my poetry and fiction stories- real and fabled colliding. Still I would neither deny nor admit I’m that character or this character. Up to you to conclude and the twist may be, that you’re amiss!

Memes and tagging seem to be the trend for personal bloggers who want to be intimate with their readers. I dread that because it entails giving away inner thoughts; yet the hardest seem to be telling the whole world specific facts and current personal information about oneself. I’d rather hide!

To me that raises a red flag. I’ve encountered personal blogs who practically share every vital statistics about them that it is so easy to track them down, they just might as well hand in their wallets! They’re practically inviting would be stalkers and online identity thieves. I hate to break the party, I’m just saying there are unscrupulous individuals who make us their easy target based on what we say alone in our blogs!

Nonetheless, I somehow knew it was only a matter of time when someone would in fact tag me! Though it gave me a headache as to what I should reveal (or not!), I’m most happy to oblige in this exercise just because the Pinay Dreamer, one of my fave blog neighbors tagged me. This person is passionate at what she does. A blogger who is as super a mom and a wifey as she is a prolific writer and an expert wakeboarder all in one cool packaging!

She wants me to reveal seven things YOU readers don’t know about me! Fair enough. I think that I could share general pieces of me without inviting trouble to myself. Or am I just being too paranoid? I’d say cautious… :-)

1. I belong to the 10% of the adult population who are southpaw or leftie.

I remember how difficult it was for me growing up as one. Although I wasn’t forced, I was strongly encouraged to write with my right hand. Arm chairs for lefties were non-existent at that time. Tools are always designed for right-handed people. Try cutting paper with your left hand with a right handed scissor! I get confused even now, following directions where a right handed person shows me how to do things and I have to do it with my left! I wouldn’t trade it to be right-handed though! Being a minority leftie is somewhat unique!

2. I have a terrible body clock.

My brain starts to work at midnight. I’m half-dead at daytime. On normal days, I sleep at 3am. On weekends, I could stay up til 7am and get up after five hours sleep or I could sleep in as much as 12 hours and miss an entire day then only to be awake the entire night until it’s daylight! When I’m out, I’m out like a light! Noise, light or any commotion don’t bother me. So I don’t hear the alarm. On important appointments, I’d have 4 alarm clocks running on snooze and still ask someone to call me or be there just to give me a nudge- perhaps throw a bucket of cold water on me! I don’t sleep on normal hours but put me in anything that moves: bus, car, train, plane, motorcycle, I’d be sleeping in 5 minutes anytime of the day with my mouth open and head banging all over the place!

3. I like animals but only if they’re not mine!

I don’t like the responsiblity that goes with taking care of them. I used to have lotsa hamster as a kid and loved them but someone would always attend to it after I’m done petting them. The same is true with kids right? you adore them, only when they’re not yours! haha! Oh sure, I’d love to have kids of my own someday- I just hope I can petition my fave nanny here to the US. If not, there’s always grandma! Ok, Ok I love kids and I’m going to be hands-on with them! Kids are different, you nurture and love them and they respond with such warmth and joy and they can talk! All the pressures and heavy load gone just seeing them smile. For now, I love my nieces to death!!

Cats are as popular of a pet as dogs are in America. I’m sorry but I don’t like cats- whatever kind (maybe Puss in Shrek, that’s it!). Perhaps it is cultural because in the Philippines, they aren’t really considered house pets. I hate crawling animals, insects, amphibians and reptiles with a passion! So goes without saying, I shriek at the very thought of even seeing any kind of snake or a toad! To touch it would be even worse! Eeewwww!! (Sorry Ivy, I don’t think I could go near Sedira!)

4. My first ever real paid job brought me many firsts.

First time to be out of the country. First time to live alone at age 22 for close to six months of training for an Editorial Assistant job in Tokyo, Japan. First real heartbreak! I broke up with my boyfriend of 3 years before I left the Philippines. First paycheck. First time to really cook- ate a lot of canned food, eggs, and instant ramen noodles– I found out, it wasn’t so bad for breakfast! First time to do household chores but with such great amenities and conveniences! First time to mingle with other culture. First taste of living in a rich, high-tech, first world nation and with such loving, kind and warm people. First international friendships. First sake (japanese wine). First Winter and Spring. First time to see Tokyo Disneyland! More firsts that I can’t tell you about…! ;-)

5. I suck in Math! I have a poor memory when it comes to names and faces too!


It has put me in embarrassing situations where up to the end of the meeting, I was still second-guessing who that person was! Not good at all! Anything to do with math and numbers, expect me to stare at you blankly. I’m bad with dates, where my keys are or what I did or ate 2 days ago! Phone numbers? I don’t even know mine! My notebook is my lifeline- I put every important factoids and numbers in it!


6. I hate public speaking and I have the so-called stage fright.

I think I’m a better writer than a speaker anyway. I prefer behind-the-scene work away from the limelight. So I’m a frustrated, aspiring, budding, wishful, striving writer. No one in my family writes so I could very well believe in the cliche, writers are not born, they’re made. I don’t have any writing background. I basically taught myself to write by constant reading and loving the English language.

I came from a small town in the islands of Mindanao, Philippines where I finished grade school. I moved to the big city of Manila for high school and I wanted so much to join the school paper but I didn’t have the confidence to apply! I was so intimidated by my new school! I sent anonymous poetry and articles and they published it!

I finally joined the school paper in college and was unwittingly good at it. I became a contributor, a section editor then eventually became editor-in-chief for the paper for 2 school years on top of becoming editor-in-chief of the school’s official yearbook. I also once worked closely for our Hometown Mayor, handling press releases, speeches (ghost writing), and the like. Not so bad for a self-taught writer, eh?!

7. I have a 4-inch scar on my bikini line from a near-death ruptured appendix!

It happened Christmas Eve some years back. I was in so much pain yet I thought I just over ate from all the Nochebuena (good night) eating! Went to the hospital that night and was (mis)diagnosed as that, having a bad case of indigestion by some kid intern. I woke up with worse pain and feeling very weak, had blood in my urine and thought I was gonna die! I was brought to the hospital again and immediately the more experienced doctor knew what it was and called for a stat operation! Dang, had it been here in the US- it would have been a major lawsuit! We could have sued the hospital but we didn’t! Oh yes, I still wear a two-piece bikini every Summer!

Note: If you have localized pain on the lower right side of the abdomen that does not go away, have it checked at once! Appendicitis is such a quick and easy surgical procedure when diagnosed early and if caught in time will only render a small scar of less than an inch not 4 inches!

_______________________________________________________________

There goes the seven things. Now you know! I would like to pass this on to:

Vienne, the 1. Eavesdropwriter, whose blog is another favorite! Her writings are always oh so compelling, inspiring and thought provoking! Michelle, the genius behind 2. Comics-Mix and Prolonged Absence. I’d love to see the 7 things about you in drawing with your usual witty quips and anecdotes! (if that’s not asking too much, lol). Louisa, the blogger behind 3. My Emotional Recycle Bin, whose quips and take on things and life is an interesting read. 4. Techie Girl whose Techology info site and Easy Life Guide brings current and relevant articles and reviews for tech and gadget savvy! Ding’s strong web presence in: 5. Inkblots and Viewpoint are always a marvel to see and read. 6. Malawika, who posts about blogging, making money online, SEO and more but hopefully will share some personal things we don’t know about!! 7. Zen Bitch Speaks whose posts and poetry are always delightful and sublime!

Well, you guys have just been tagged! It’s now your turn to pass on the headache as well… Do tell!

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Acclamations

dmeemai on November 2nd, 2007 File Under family affairs

ONE OF THE BEST poems ever written in my book is “Funeral Blues” from Wynstan Hugh Auden. He won the Pulitzer Prize in 1948 for poetry for his book “Age of Anxiety.” This was the poem we all cried over in the film Four Weddings and a Funeral, and yes, he was gay.

Funeral Blues
by W.H. Auden Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,

Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead,
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policeman wear black cotton gloves.

He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last for ever: I was wrong.


The stars are not wanted now; put out everyone
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood;
For nothing now can ever come to any good.

I get teary-eyed every time I read the poem. Poignant, searing, haunting; It’s like a knife piercing into your heart. Ok, I’m being melodramatic but that kind of pain, that kind of emotions can only come from somebody who truly loved.

It’s All Soul’s Day so I still get to talk morbid! My wish is that my family would read this to me on my funeral. I hope I deserve it anyway. I hope they’d read it not because I requested it but because that’s exactly how they’d feel when I’m gone. Let this be part of my living will. Hey it’s my death, am entitled. I want to be part of the planning!

While am on the subject, I want all the works in my funeral- not elaborate but meaningful… I want to see white everywhere. White clothing, white balloons, white flowers, white doves! I want the mood to be a little sad yet festive. NO long sermons but there should be a eulogy done in the cemetery. C’mmon, there must be some things I did right and some good deeds I’ve made! So a eulogy or two from members of my family and perhaps from two close friends should do well. No matter where in the world I’d be, I want all my friends to be there, all the people I’ve come across with- past and present. Is that to much to ask coming from a dead friend??

A must music should include: Des’ree’s You Gotta Be, Boys II Men and Mariah Carey’s One Sweet Day, Kavana’s Will You Wait For Me, Norah Jones’ Come Away With Me, Dido’s Thank You, Alanis Morissette’s You Learn and Sarah Mclachlan’s songs. There should be a live band singing those songs in church or fine, I’ll settle for an acoustic ensemble. If you can do away please, with religious songs like “Hindi Kita Malilimutan” (I will never forget you) or really, really sad tagalog (Filipino) songs. I forgot what they are but they’re the ones almost always played in Filipino funerals where the loved ones, so overwhelmed with grief that they want to literally jump on the dug grave and join their dead beloved. I swear it’s those sad songs that make them want to do that! Now, I don’t want to hear those, OK?

There should be a party after, with some great music playing throughout the night. Music from the albums of Everything But the Girl, Swing Out Sister, U2, Beatles, Julia Fordham. Some House music would be nice. Most 80’s classic songs! Some 90’s dance songs like Life, Hey, Better than You, Give Me A little More Time, I’ll be Missing You, If You Could Read my Mind, Love You down, The Real Thing, The Best Things, Do You Believe in me- go ahead, play them! Maybe I’ll live to be a hundred- now those songs would perhaps sound really weird for my children and grandchildren. But that would be a nice subject to talk about by itself. Should I die young, then everybody else should be able to relate with the music.

If something else comes up, I’ll let you know. Meanwhile, note on this my friends and loved ones and remember… ©

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